Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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