So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
