He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize