so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
