Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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