I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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