another moral hangover. fuck.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you never un-have a 4some
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
