I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
