I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Your tits are I can't wait for
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
