I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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