just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
