My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
