He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize