R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize