Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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