Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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