How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
