her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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