sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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