No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
