I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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