i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
