i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
