were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
