OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
