K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
