do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
