This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
