I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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