love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
