drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
