I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
