Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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