The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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