Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize