He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
