margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Couch. On fire.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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