either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
