Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
