As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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