ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
