So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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