Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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