i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
