That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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