bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
