I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
this hospital has no fireball
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
