I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
