Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
