Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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