He is such a slut. More and more my type.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
