Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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