So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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