...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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