We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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