he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
handjob tips. give me some.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
