I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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