i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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