I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this boner is exhausting
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
