Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
