i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
