wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
