I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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