I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
