i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
